About Me!

Hmm, what to say, what to say. I am not sure why I haven’t made an “about me” page yet because I really want to connect to my followers so here it is! Let’s start off with my name, Bella..That is not my real name. I decided to go by an anonymous name because I was hesitant that my friends would find my blog. I don’t know why I don’t want them to see, it has nothing to do with the weight-loss, I guess just because I vent about them sometimes. Anyways, I am twenty years old and from Connecticut. My whole life I was very active in softball but always a little chubby…never really over weight. My parent’s passed away when I was little and I believe that I found comfort in food during my childhood years. Before they passed, I was literally a stick. Then I started to get comforted with sweets, and I would literally have an ice cream sundae every night- horrible I know. Anyways, softball non-stop covered up my horrible eating habits to a certain extent. I have always wanted to lose weight and I have never been happy with my body. During high school I had very low self-esteem, never had a boyfriend, but was never really the “bigger” friend. I was always average compared to what my other friend’s weight or a tad bit bigger. I got to college and really wanted to make a change. Since I decided not to play softball in college, I decided the gym was going to be my new best friend. And it was. Freshman year I remember getting a lot of compliments about losing weight: I didn’t eat healthier or anything but I probably dropped five-ten pounds at most. Nothing drastic or life changing, I guess my clothes just fit a little bit better. I was still SO unhappy with my life and my weight. I am not sure what exactly I weighed. Sophomore year came and again, I told myself that I was going to make a change. I tried to eat healthier, not eat past seven, and really work out. However, it didn’t work and I definitely added a few pounds. My friends were always such a big influence on me and saying things like taco bell won’t kill you, you are skinnier than us, when you say you are fat you make us feel bad. I definitely fell into peer pressure and ate like crap still. I actually ate worse, drank more, and looked gross. So, I came home Summer 2011 unhappy and unsuccessful. I knew I had to join the gym to keep in shape but didn’t plan on going health crazy. However,when looking up nutrition for my favorite fast food places I literally got sick to my stomach. What I was eating in one sitting at taco bell should have been my daily intake of calories- GROSS. I also hated how this food made my body feel. I came home weighing between 140-145 with a height of 5’2…This was in May. We are now in August and I can proudly say I weighed in this morning at 113.2. Updating this, we are at October 29th and I weigh about 95 pounds. I know it is a drastic weight loss and what some would say unhealthy but I have done this the healthy way. I have NEVER tried to starve myself. I did have a small problem with limiting my calories though. I would see the number “900” and be like ALL that has to go in my body in ONE DAY? 900 calories is not even enough to survive. It was defiantly my head talking. When I got back to school in September I had a fear of gaining the weight back and not fitting into my clothes. I became obsessed with the number of what I was eating and the scale. However, It is not like I would limit my calories for the day and say, “Oh, I am only eating 500 calories.” I would eat when I was hungry and until I was full but the number part comes into play because I would only buy and eat low calorie food. If I were to go to the grocery store and see a healthy item for say 400 calories per serving, I would not buy it. Even if it was healthy- that is bad..400 calories is a great number for a lunch or dinner meal if it contains healthy ingredients or is healthy in general- Maybe some lean meat and a bunch of veggies with a small special k bar for desert, for example. Anyways, I am trying hard to continue my healthy life by not counting calories and being happy.  What did it for me? A lot of cardio for one. I used to only do 30-45 minutes AT MOST per gym session. While losing weight, I did between 45-60 minutes every time I go to the gym. I usually do the whole hour unless I am limited for time or plan on taking a class that night. I went to turbokick and cardio dance which are both cardio classes so I am technically doing 45 minutes of cardio that night plus another 60. Now that I am at college for the school year, I am unable to do turbo and cardio dance because it is not offered. However, I love the classes and will continue them during winter break and the summer. Now that I am in maintenance, I do way less cardio and do not workout five days a week. I usually do 3-5 days depending on my school work and do about 40 minutes of cardio. I also do abs and switch between legs and arms depending on the day. Abs are made in the kitchen and just doing abs will not get you a flat stomach; however every little bit helps. Also, strength training is important because it tones muscle. Anyways, besides working out my DIET was what really did it. As in, healthy lifestyle. DIET reminds me of something you do for a short amount of time which will cause you to rapidly gain weight once you stop it. This is a lifestyle change, if you want it forever. I cut out all soda, candy, junk food, and fast food. I literally did it cold turkey: that is how I have to do stuff. I was definitely an emotional and compulsive eater. I couldn’t just have one diet soda a day or one cookie at a family party, I would have to have six sodas or three cookies, a slice of cake, and a brownie. I have not tried to have sweets or soda in moderation yet because I don’t know if I am strong enough. One day, I will be. But only in moderation. Next, I didn’t eat past 6 at night for a while: depending on my schedule of course. Now, I find myself eating dinner between 6 and 8 but that is just because I have a busy school schedule. Not eating late at night helps me not to overeat or binge, but if you do not have that problem, eat WHENEVER you want! It is all about calories in vs. calories out. Eating at midnight will not make you gain weight unless you have already eaten you required calories in a day. All you really need is a good healthy meal plan and exercise in order for the pounds will fall off on their own, I promise. I don’t know when they will or how long it will take but DON’T give up: they will. A lot of people worry about me because of how fast my weight has fallen off. It worries me that I will gain it all back, I don’t know why but it does. I am very self conscious and insecure about my body. I think I am ugly, I have stretch marks, and I swear no matter how skinny or fit I am I won’t wear a bikini. These are things I need to work on and I know it. I have also lost many friends throughout this journey. I work full time in the summer, go to the gym, and I am on a woman’s softball team. Between all of that and giving myself personal time, I really do not have a lot of time for friends. They get mad and think I should skip the gym, but I need to do this for me. One day, they will understand I hope. I am completely healthy, happy, and I am starting to love my life. One day I hope to be confident and beautiful: but that comes from within and I need to have a good soul search. Well, I think that is about all. Message me if you have any questions :) I love my followers and I am SO proud of all of you. xoxo